India v England - LIVE
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3rd over: England 23-0 (target 339, Strauss 17, Pietersen 5) Strauss edges Zaheer short of slip, works a couple of twos into the leg side and then misses a swipe on the run. Hang on, Strauss hit the ball and nobody appealed! Bizarre. There was a definitely a noise, and it can't have been anything else, but as the ball went through to Dhoni he merely oooohed with frustration. "In his last 52 ODIs, Strauss has raised his strike rate by almost five whole runs," says Gary Naylor. "That's a very fine effort from a man whose game must have been fairly settled. I'm not sure I can think of many batsmen who have sped up so much on passing thirty. He's going to get us home isn't he? Well, maybe not this time." It's a mighty effort, although he couldn't have done it without the other Andy freeing his mind.
2nd over: England 19-0 (target 339, Strauss 13, Pietersen 5) A very eventful opening over from Munaf Patel starts when Pietersen survives a huge shout. At first I thought it was for caught behind, but in fact I think it was LBW. The ball flicked the flap pad and went through to Dhoni, but it was a touch too high. Pietersen whirls the next ball to fine leg for four. Then there's a wide, then Pietersen is cut in half by a beauty, then Smyth forgets what day it is, then Pietersen takes a single, and then Strauss cuts another boundary. An excellent start for England. "Over on TMS, apparently in all seriousness, Aggers is asking Gavaskar, of all people, how one goes about chasing 339," says Josh Robinson. "That's a bit like asking the Grauniad for advice on matters of style."
1st over: England 8-0 (target 339, Strauss 8, Pietersen 0) Andrew Strauss gets England o! ff to a flyer with boundaries from the first and last deliveries of Zaheer Khan's opening over. The first was clipped off the toes, the second cut witheringly through the covers. "Can I put my name on record as being the only one of us who definitely going to win this," says Piers Barclay. "With 4.2 overs to spare. This prediction is in no way going to come back and haunt me. See you in the 46th over!"
Thanks for the emails pointing out that, in fact, Sachin Tendulkar has scored 200 in a one-day international. I must have been doing a Columbo marathon that day.
At some stage in this tournament, somebody is going to chase a target of this size. I don't think it will be today, as I suspect Harbhajan will eat England up, but it's certainly not impossible. I can't quite bring myself to say BELIEVE, Nathan Barley-style, but it's not a foregone conclusion. Not quite, anyway.
INNINGS BREAK The break is a short one, just 15 minutes. I'll leave you with this from Richard Dennis: "It seems the Indians have committed the unforgivable sin of not batting out all their overs. Amateurish, just poor stuff!"
49.5 overs: India 338 all out (Zaheer Khan run out 4) Zaheer comes back for a second to deep midwicket and is run out by a mile, and the first run was one short as well. A bit of a pointless exercise, then, but I think on balance India might just have shaded the first half of this match. England need 339 to win. Good luck with that, gentlemen. Anderson's figures, by the way, are the worst by an England bowler at a World Cup: 9.5-0-91-1.
WICKET! India 338-9 (Chawla run out 2) Chawla takes one for the team, sacrificing himself to get Zaheer on strike. Two balls remaining.
49th over: India 329-8 (Zaheer 1, Chawla 1) Bresnan ends with figures of 10-1-49-5. In the context of the score, those are stunning figures. The bigger the game, the better he bowls. "Bresn! an is on fire!" says Sara Torvalds. "Instead of avoiding the B word, we could talk about slaughter (of England) at the Bressaswamy Stadium..."
WICKET! India 328-8 (Harbhajan LBW b Bresnan 0) Three wickets in four balls for Bresnan, and his first five-wicket haul for England in any form of the game. It was a marvellous yorker that hit Harbahajan on the heel of the back foot in front of middle and leg. Harbhajan reviewed it unquestionably the most ridiculous review you will ever see in the sense that he was palpably plumb, although with two reviews left I suppose it was fair enough but it didn't take long for the third umpire to confirm the decision.
WICKET! India 327-7 (Kohli b Bresnan 8) Bresnan takes his second wicket in as many deliveries, cleaning Kohli up with a beautiful yorker that smacks into off stump. Bresnan has been exceptional today.
WICKET! India 327-6 (Y Pathan c Swann b Bresnan 14) Yusuf heaves a slower ball from Bresnan up in the air, and Swann takes the catch running back from cover although it almost slipped out of his hands.
48th over: India 327-5 (Y Pathan 14, Kohli 8) Yusuf Pathan plays an astonishing stroke, swiping a blockhole delivery from Anderson perfectly straight for six. He broke his bat in the process. A miserable over gets worse when a misfield from Swann at short fine leg turns one into four. The Anderson/Swann bromance has taken a few hits in these two games. "Re: Bell's non-celebration, one thing you never see on TV is what happens to the ball after the successful fielder has taken the catch," says John Starbuck. "Either he chucks it high up or tosses it away nonchalantly, but who sees which fielder retrieves it after that? One of the mysteries of the great game." This is so true. I always worry it's going to land on someone's head.
47th over: India 314-5 (Y Pathan 6, Kohli 3) Yusuf Pathan slugs Bresnan a fraction short of Wright, diving forward at deep ! square l eg, and the ball goes through Wright for four. Wright was a bit unlucky there. Kohli then heaves Bresnan only just short of Bell at long on, and Bell did brilliantly to stick out his right hand and save the boundary. He's a really underrated outfielder. "Another wicket for England!" says Sara Torvalds. "I'm flabbergasted - I thought this would end 350 for three..." I know, we're all over them now!
WICKET! India 305-5 (Dhoni c sub (Wright) b Bresnan 31) Two wickets in two balls. Dhoni picks Bresnan up towards deep square leg, where Wright takes a very good running catch on the boundary. Dhoni made 31 from 24 balls, a scintillating and selfless cameo.
46th over: India 305-4 (Dhoni 31, Y Pathan 0) Yardy's final over had gone for 13, leaving him with figures of 10-0-64-1. Dhoni put Billy Bowden on his backside with a smear down the ground and then pulled a mighty six.
WICKET! India 305-4 (Yuvraj c Bell b Yardy 58) Yuvraj slog-sweeps Yardy's final delivery to deep midwicket, where Bell takes a nonchalant running catch and then throws the ball away almost in disgust, the cricket equivalent of a goalscorer not celebrating.
45th over: India 292-3 (Yuvraj 53, Dhoni 23) That's why England were bowling short to Yuvraj, because when Shahzad pitches one up he is pinged brutally over midwicket for four. Yuvraj flicks another boundary past short fine leg to bring up his half-century from 46 balls. When he fails to connect properly with a huge hoick off the last delivery, Prior goes up for caught behind. He was alone in the appeal, but there was a noise. Anyway. "Do England actually need to win this?" says Robin Hazlehurst. "We're doomed if so, but having duffed up The Netherlands so comprehensively surely England can afford one loss in the 428 group stage matches? So how about Strauss striding out for England's innings and deciding to pay a tribute to Sunil Gavaskar. It would be humiliating, but it will be anyway, so what the he! ll, at l east it would be good for a giggle. It wouldn't be good for a giggle, would it." Defeat itself isn't a problem, as the games against West Indies and Bangladesh will decide whether England will reach the quarter-finals, but this was always going to be the acid test of whether England are contenders to win the tournament.
44th over: India 281-3 (Yuvraj 44, Dhoni 21) Four from Yardy's over. He's done really well today, conceding only three boundaries in nine overs. "That was a very Benaudesque intro for MS Dhoni from Michael Atherton," says Gary Naylor, before kindly typing it in its entirety so I don't have to. "'Well there are some good sights and bad sights in cricket and MS Dhoni walking to the crease at 236-3 with 12 overs remaining is not a good sight not if you're England anyway'." On that subject, somebody sent in this lovely bit of Benaud yesterday.
43rd over: India 277-3 (Yuvraj 42, Dhoni 19) Shahzad (6-0-27-0) is on in place of Bresnan and disappears for 15. It starts when he is pulled viciously for four by Yuvraj. England have been bombing with Yuvraj with short stuff but, as Mike Atherton says on Sky, they have used that delivery so often (about 80 per cent of the time) that Yuvraj can prepare himself for it and plays shots like that. The length is varied to Dhoni but he still takes consecutive boundaries with a pull and then a beautiful swat through the covers.
"Judging by the distressed noises coming from the bathroom, my two-year-old son has just made a brave but ultimately doomed attempt to clean up for the first time," says Darren Ford. "And here I sit, caught betwixt two unsightly pastings wondering which one deserves my attention least."
42nd over: India 262-3 (Yuvraj 37, Dhoni 10) Yuvraj steers Yardy's last delivery through Swann at short third man for four, the only boundary of an over that nonetheless went for 11. "On TMS this morning they were say! ing the Little Master was the top scorer in IPL but only hit three sixes because he didn't need to," says Alan. "His innings today shows that the English bowlers are high quality as they forced him to change his game."
41st over: India 251-3 (Yuvraj 29, Dhoni 8) Bresnan uses the short ball very well in that over, which brings just four singles. England did a fine job in that Powerplay, conceding 32 from the five overs and also taking the wicket of Kris Srikkanth. "I never thought I'd be saying I'd accept 300," says Guy Hornsby. "This could be messy." Could be?
40th over: India 247-3 (Yuvraj 27, Dhoni 6) Yeah yeah this is all very good, how many Ashes series have India have ever won, eh? Dhoni flashes Yardy's first ball behind point for four. but Yardy is an, erm, hardy soul and concedes just one from the last five deliveries. "With all that's been said about this admittedly wonderful Indian batting... Are their bowlers any good?" says Sean Boiling. "I mean really?" When you score 700, it tends not to matter. Although Harbhajan in particular is a class act. He'll go through England like a dose of salts today.
39th over: India 242-3 (Yuvraj 27, Dhoni 1) Almost two in two balls for Anderson, but a leading edge from Yuvraj drops safely on the off side. Yuvraj then flails a fast-handed hook for four. That was Anderson's first wicket in an ODI in India since 2006 by the way. "After this wonderful innings," begins Nisarg Kamdar, "does the English media still believe Swann was hard done when overlooked for the Player of the Year?" You're right: an innings in 2011 should definitely influence who gets the Player of the Year for 2010. Anyway, I thought the only gripe was with him being excluded from the shortlist which was absurd rather than not winning the award.
WICKET! India 236-3 (Tendulkar c Yardy b Anderson 120) Tendulkar gets a leading edge to Yardy at extra cover, and in an instant there is perfect silence around ! the grou nd. Then the crowd rise again to give Tendulkar a magnificent ovation for
a glorious innings, 120 from 115 balls with 10 fours and five sixes.
38th over: India 232-2 (Tendulkar 116, Yuvraj 22) That's a gem of an over from Michael Yardy, costing only three runs. England might India below 350 yet! "Thirteen overs remaining, batting powerplay just taken, Sachin on 115," begins Abhay Phadnis. "I wonder whether he would be entertaining thoughts of a double ton!" Don't be so daft. Nobody will ever make 200 in an ODI.
37th over: India 229-2 (Tendulkar 115, Yuvraj 21) Now India do take the Powerplay. I humbly suggest that you take up residence behind the sofa. It's Bresnan to start. His figures are 6-1-24-1. They are good figures, nice figures, pretty figures. Look at them and remember how nice they look, because they are about to be disfigured. Yuvraj pulls the first ball to the boundary, as does Tendulkar the fifth, and there are 10 runs rom the over. "Can I plug the wonderful University of Canterbury's Student Volunteer Army," says Shankar Kalyanaraman, "which has been at the fore of relief and rehabilitation efforts at Christchurch?"
36th over: India 219-2 (Tendulkar 110, Yuvraj 17) After a couple of quiet overs, normal service is resumed with Swann going for 13. Yuvraj cracks four over midwicket and then Tendulkar launches a blistering flat six, his fifth of the innings, also over midwicket. "Naylor's link is very good," says Tom Van der Gucht, "but I was disappointed to see that it had omitted the picture of him with a flat cap and a pint of Tetley's, taken when he signed to play for Yorkshire."
35th over: India 206-2 (Tendulkar 103, Yuvraj 11) He's done it! Tendulkar reaches his 47th one-day century and his fifth in World Cups with a wristy ! tickle t o fine leg off the returning Bresnan. It's been yet another awesome innings, from 103 balls with nine fours and four sixes. The crowd have completely lost it; they'll be grinning like this for a week. Incredible. India didn't take the Powerplay, by the way, and there are six from the over.
34th over: India 200-2 (Tendulkar 98, Yuvraj 10) Swann gets some pantomime boos when he appeals for LBW against Tendulkar. It was a good delivery, fired in from around the wicket, but it definitely pitched outside leg. It's another fine over from Swann, costing just three. The ball will now be changed, and this is where India usually take the Powerplay. In other news, here's a lovely link from Gary Naylor.
33rd over: India 197-2 (Tendulkar 96, Yuvraj 9) Michael Yardy returns to the attack, and Tendulkar tickles the first delivery to fine leg for four. Three singles make it another good over for India. "One thing about Sachin, he does get out to part-time/irregular bowlers, so Strauss should think about bowling Pietersen or, even better, himself," says Ben Hendy. "It's a curious thing that the better batsmen of this world often seem to fall to part-timers. Or is it just that those occasions stand out more? I can't claim to have done any analysis. Or for that matter, barely any thinking..." When can you start? But yes, Tendulkar certainly had a lot of trouble with Hansie Cronje in particular.
Is it a drinks break? I don't know whether to risk it. They're onto a second advert. It must be, right? I'm off. Wish me luck.
"THAT'S DRINKS!!!!!" shouts Paul King, one of the chaps behind Sky's cricket coverage, although by the time the email arrived I had scarpered.
32nd over: India 190-2 (Tendulkar 90, Yuvraj 8) Swann has a biggish shout for LBW against Yuvraj. It was probably sliding dow! n leg, s o England choose not to review when Billy Bowden says not out. Hawkeye shows it was just hitting the outside of leg, so the original decision would have stood. Still, England's will be very happy with that over it's a maiden. "It's not often that I forget I am an England fan, but watching Sachin like this you just want him to go on and on and on," says John Bowker. "He is a joy, a gift, a tonic to life's tedium. Let them make 350 - I don't care about Swanny's figures any more."
31st over: India 190-2 (Tendulkar 90, Yuvraj 8) Anderson bowled well first up but now he is being slaughtered. That over went for nine, with Yuvraj timing a low full toss through midwicket for four. Anderson's figures are 7-0-59-0. He is, as Mike Atherton says on Sky, becoming a significant problem for England. There's every chance he will not see out the tournament. "Surely Flett is missing Shahid Afridi from his beard list?" says John Starbuck. "He ought to be top after yesterday's performance. Has there ever been a Bearded Buddy Movie i.e. both of them being hirsute?"
30th over: India 181-2 (Tendulkar 87, Yuvraj 1) With the mandatory ball change (and, presumably, the batting Powerplay) imminent, India have promoted Yuvraj Singh ahead of Virat Kohli. It's good to see such flexibility. In terms of batting tactics, India are streets ahead of the rest at this tournament. "If the Guardian style guide mandates Bengarluru instead of Bangalore," begins Sean Boiling, "will we see Nju'cassel for the next MBM played at St. James Park?"
WICKET! India 180-2 (Gambhir b Swann 51) Graeme Swann, having switched ends, strikes in the first over of a new spell once again. It was a fine delivery, angling in from around the wicket and then turning appreciably to hit off stump as Gambhir missed an attempted steer to third man.
29th over: India 179-1 (Tendulkar 87, Gambhir 51) Swann is taken out of the attack and that solitary X-rated over, with Anderson repla! cing him . Having hit Swann for consecutive sixes, Tendulkar settles for consecutive fours off Anderson, driven delightfully through extra cover and then point. Gambhir completes a very expensive over, and brings up his fifty, when an inside-edge past the stumps for four. England are in all sorts of trouble here, and 350 could well be on the cards. "Stop fighting, children," says Rob Marriott. "We'll just call Bangallore the B-word. Which we'll probably want to after today, for much the same reason as we used to avoid saying 'Adelaide' (or Kaurna, if the Guardian Style Guide prefers it)."
28th over: India 165-1 (Tendulkar 78, Gambhir 46) Does anyone know precisely when Tendulkar changed his bat? I'd like to work out his strike rate before and after, because he is playing exquisitely now. There's another boundary, steered deliberately to third man off Shahzad. At one stage he had 45 from 65 balls; since then he has hit 33 from 20. "How many young men in the crowd in Chinnaswamy Stadium are called Sachin because of what their fathers saw SRT do 20ish years ago?" says Sara Torvalds. "And how likely is it that they would get to see him bat in a World Cup at home? And how likely is it that anybody would get to see the demi-god of several generations hit sixes like that?" Shahid Smyth, you say? It's got a ring to it.
27th over: India 159-1 (Tendulkar 72, Gambhir 46) Welcome back Graeme Swann! The first two balls of his second spell are slog-swept gloriously for six by Tendulkar. That's unbelievable batting. Tendulkar changed his bat at around the 15th over and he has been motoring every since. "He's gone for a heavier bat," chuckles Ian Botham. "Something you used to do Athers, when you were ready to play a few shots?" Fifteen from the over and Swann's figures are grim: 5-0-41-0.
26th over: India 144-1 (Tendulkar 59, Gambhir 44) Sorry, I've been a bit rattled by an email accusing me of being a disgrace. It's the right answer but let's see your workin! g. Appar ently the picture above is offensive because it shows Tendulkar's back yet the caption says Bresnan is celebrating the wicket of Sehwag. Which he was. So the picture was fine. All very odd. Four singles from that Shahzad over. "I hope there are kids watching and learning from this," says Richard O'Hagan. "A run every ball and you are already at six an over. No need to go for big shots all of the time. It is an object lesson in both batting on a slow pitch and in building an innings in any form of the game." Preach on, brother. Did you see yesterday's game? Younus and Misbah were even better. They gave a glorious exhibition of how to score at 5.5 per over in the middle overs without taking risks.
25th over: India 140-1 (Tendulkar 57, Gambhir 43) Seven from Yardy's over, all in ones and twos. "I agree with Robin in the 21st over," says Sriraghavan B. "I am from Madras, India and I still call it that way as do many of my relatives, neighbours and friends and many more. It never occurred to me that I should say Chennai as I feel that it is not right. To me at least. Similar is the case with original citizens of Bengaluru, Mumbai, and Kolkata, I suppose." I don't know the subject well enough to judge but, joking aside because sometimes the laughing has to stop, yeah we do have a style guide here and all writers adhere to that. Except when they forget, obviously.
24th over: India 133-1 (Tendulkar 53, Gambhir 40) Shahzad is back in the attack, I'd imagine for two reasons: a) because Sachin was mangling Collingwood and b) to see if the ball is reversing. He starts a wide but thereafter it's a good over. Gambhir is beaten outside off and there is just one additional single from the over. "There's a Guardian style guide is there?" chuckles Sean Boiling. "Tells you exactly how to knit your tofu?" Tells you how to block email addresses as well...
23rd over: India 131-1 (Tendulkar 53, Gambhir 39) Yardy is milked for four singles. India haven't re! ally pla yed a risky shot against him yet, but they are taking him for five an over. England need a wicket here. "Is Tendulkar officially fat?" blasphemes Ben Dunn. "Has Tendulkar's late career renaissance (in relative terms, as he dipped into being very good instead of great for a while) anything to do with him physically morphing into Robert Key? His apparent chunkiness may have improved his balance or is it a subliminal tribute to Gatting." With hindsight, Tendulkar's dodgy spell in the early 2000s is unfathomable, although a couple of injuries didn't help I suppose. While obviously recognising his greatness I still wasn't that sold on Tendulkar until recently, and was definitely a Lara man, but his achievements in the laste last three or four years have been extraordinary. On longevity alone he has a case for being better than Bradman. Twenty-two years he has coped with the pressures of Being Sachin. Most of us wouldn't last 22 minutes. You look at what he has achieved, and how humble he has remained, and then you think about the cream (sic) of England's footballers, and then you weep inside.
22nd over: India 126-1 (Tendulkar 52, Gambhir 35) Tendulkar brings up his fifty with another mighty six off Collingwood, launched thrillingly over midwicket. It's taken 66 balls but he is really starting to make up for lost time now. Ten from the over. "England need Collingwood for sure," says Shankar Kalyanaraman. "In a team that has gone for the squeaky clean boyband look en masse, Prior's and his avuncular beards offer the necessary counterbalance." Then Shankar saw a freshly shaven Collingwood, and followed up with. "Scratch that. They got to him, the mongrels." You've got to love the use of such a dramatic phase as 'They got to him' in reference to a beard.
21st over: India 116-1 (Tendulkar 44, Gambhir 33) Five from Yardy's over: two singles, a two and a wide. England would take 10-0-55-1 from Yardy all day. But the '1' is key. England have got to take wickets ! in these middle overs or the death overs could be extremely painful. "Please stop calling it Bengaluru," says Robin Percival. "The English name for the city is Bangalore; just as the English name for Roma is Rome or Moscva is Moscow. I have just returned from spending over five weeks in Bangalore and everyone I spoke to (in English) referred to the city as Bangalore. Of course I do not speak Kannada and if I did I would call it Bengaluru. English language papers in India such as The Hindu refer to the city as Bangalore. Why can't the Guardian?" Don't shoot the style guide adherer. I know I am a maverick, but I will never never deviate from the Guardian style guide. My life would not be worth living.
20th over: India 111-1 (Tendulkar 43, Gambhir 30) India's batting line up is so long that, unless they lose a few early wickets, they don't really do Boring Middle Overs: they just keep on pushing at six an over. And the moment I type that, Collingwood gets through a good over at a cost of two. But the point stands. Honest. "Since I don't do Sky, am using TMS to supplement your report," says Ravi Nair. "Boycs etc already discussing 'How big a 300' India will make. Is there an ODI version of a 'Daddy 300'?" I have no idea.
19th over: India 109-1 (Tendulkar 42, Gambhir 29) Michael Yardy comes on and hurries through an over at a cost of five singles. India are well on course for 300. "During the BMOs today, can I humbly suggest looking on a popular video-sharing website for the current Pepsi advert featuring the Pakistan cricket team," says Lee Rodwell. "he closing shot alone raising the possibility of a future Akhtar-Afridi buddy movie (but which one's the maverick?) is very much worth it." Oh blimey, Lee is right: the last shot is wonderful. Can you imagine a buddy movie involving Afridi and Shoaib? Dude, where's my fine leg? (! Sorry.)< /p>
18th over: India 104-1 (Tendulkar 39, Gambhir 27) I hate it when they go to a drinks break without telling you on the TV. You know it's due, and then when they go to a second advert you guess it's probably now, but do you risk running off to get a coffee? What if, while the coffee machine is fizzing into life, they've cut back to the ground and, after the first ball of the next over, two of the players have started brawling? What then? Thankfully it was the drinks break this time, and then Andrew Strauss brings Paul Collingwood into the attack. Tendulkar plays a sublime stroke from the fourth ball, a perfectly timed chip over mid off for six. That was amazing. "Prior's Cricket World Cup Beard Index rating up after catch," says Keith Flett. "Leader Board: Amla [SA] 7.45, Prior [England]6.2, Vettori [NZ] 6.2, Pathan [India] 5.1." Stil
17th over: India 96-1 (Tendulkar 32, Gambhir 26) Tendulkar dances down the track and smears Swann back over his head for four to bring up the fifty partnership. India have gone after Swann, as we expected they would, and his figures of 4-0-26-0. He'll do well to take 10-0-60-2 from here, never mind 10-1-40-2. "With Broad out today, is it just me that wishes we could have brought our favourite giant Tremlett into the team rather than Shazhad?" says Jim Clear. "Would love to see him forcing the odd short ball into this great Indian team's respective ribcages. Still, no room for him in a squad as well as everyone's favourite drinks carrier Luke Wright, eh?" Aye. An enforcer is very handy against all sides, but especially India. I can't wait to see him bowl to them in the Tests never summer.
16th over: India 90-1 (Tendulkar 28, Gambhir 25) Six from Bresnan's over, all in ones and twos, so his figures are now 5-1-18-1. I doubt they will look so pretty by the end of the innings; even so, this has been a fine effort. "Following on from Richard O'Hagan's comment in the first over, what about leaving out Co! llingwoo d and bringing in Bopara," says Greg Morley. "Wouldn't that strengthen the batting? The bowling might be a bit weaker, but you would have five specialists in there already." Poor old Colly, forever damned with faint criticism. I don't think it would strengthen the batting, and it certainly wouldn't strengthen the fielding and bowling. Unless he is literally holding the bat the wrong way up, Collingwood is a must for an England side on the subcontinent, in my humble one.
15th over: India 84-1 (Tendulkar 24, Gambhir 23) This is a masterful, calulcated assault on Swann from Gambhir. He makes room to the first delivery of Swann's first over and drives it expansively over extra cover for four. Swann recovers well after that, conceding just two more singles and a wide. "You can tell Phil Keegan that Astro regularly delays 'live' broadcasts by a couple of minutes just in case there is a streaker any any other dodgy encroachment," says David Carpenter. "Good way of making a few bob if your mates don't know and you have the text on your phone!"
14th over: India 77-1 (Tendulkar 23, Gambhir 18) Yes, yes I printed Swann's first over twice. Sorry. Have amended it now so nobody will ever kn-oh. More good stuff from Bresnan, a maiden to Tendulkar. He has 23 from 41 balls and, while he has been a little sedate, England's accuracy has demanded respect. On to more important matters, has anyone watched Mad Dogs on Sky? The latest trailer which they are showing a fair bit between overs is superbly done, but then so were the trailers for the last similarly hyped drama on Sky 1, The Take, and turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. I fear this might be too. Still, whoever does Sky 1's adverts clearly knows their wotsits. "If KP had 23 from 41 balls," begins Gary Naylor, "just how full would your inbox be?" Not as full as it would be when he panicked and slogged the 42nd up in the air. That's the difference, I guess: KP is learning the role of pinch-stroker, whereas Tendulkar! invente d the role and so will not panic at all.
13th over: India 77-1 (Tendulkar 23, Gambhir 18) After a few more sighters, Gambhir gives Swann the charge and drives him high over mid on for a one-bounce four. That's a beautiful stroke, both in execution and intent. Swann won't be fazed by that and the next ball is a beauty. Gambhir gives him the charge again but is beaten and ends up inside edging the ball past Prior for four. Technically that's a missed catch and a missed stumping, but the inside edge made it extremely difficult.
12th over: India 66-1 (Tendulkar 21, Gambhir 9) Gambhir runs down the track to a short one from Bresnan and plays a roundhouse swat over the covers for four. That's the first boundary off Bresnan's bowling. "Rob," says Alan. "I would say this match isn't so much checking your bank balance after a bender as putting your card behind the bar at 5 o'clock on a Friday evening while telling yourself you'll stay for a couple and then go home to watch some quality television."
11th over: India 60-1 (Tendulkar 20, Gambhir 4) Graeme Swann is coming on, and England take the bowling Powerplay. His 10 overs, against the best players of spin in the world, should be a treat. England need him to provide not only economy but also wickets. Figures of 10-1-40-2 will do nicely, Graeme. No pressure! His figures is played respectfully by Tendulkar and Gambhir, with just a couple of singles. The last ball turned a fair bit, which is a mixed blessing for England. "Mr Kalyanaraman is almost right re MS Dhoni," says Mr Gary Naylor. "I am well aware that he is not short of an endorsement deal or two, but the man has expanded to push that element into the background through the excellence of his cricket and his cool leadership on and off the field. It's the man and not the medium that got big."
10th over: India 58-1 (Tendulkar 19, Gambhir 3) Another good over from Bresnan costs just four, one by virtue of another misfie! ld from Shahzad. The worry for England is that they have, for the most part, bowled very well this morning, but India are still rattling along. "This is a first," says Phil Keegan. "I am watching on Astro TV in a pub in Kuala Lumpur and the OBO is faster than the TV channel. By a couple of minutes in fact. How did you manage that?" I'm mates with Salman Bu No idea.
9th over: India 54-1 (Tendulkar 18, Gambhir 0) Tendulkar rolls the wrists to ping Anderson through square leg for his first boundary, from his 24th delivery. That was a gorgeous stroke, and he gets another four more next ball with an even wristier flick past short fine leg. The margin for error against Tendulkar is indecently small. "Morning Rob, morning everybody," says Ben Hendy. "So Nasser just told us that 'England have one of India's dangermen'. That'll just be another six dangermen to go then..."
8th over: India 46-1 (Tendulkar 10, Gambhir 0) Bresnan beats Gambhir first ball. The bigger the game, the better he seems to bowl. "I'm in Budapest," says Paul Ewart. "It's very cold here and I'm about to visit Europe's largest flea market rather than follow your ramblings. Thank you for sullying my day: I now have a mental image of Jimmy's tongue between Virender Sewhag's toes. Jimmy's is mumbling 'Is there anyone else'?" I have no idea what this means but, after the horror of Tony Greig's massage yesterday, did you have to mention toes again?
WICKET! India 46-1 (Sehwag c Prior b Bresnan 35) Tim Bresnan has done it again! He started his first over superbly and struck with his fifth ball when the dangerman Sehwag, trying to run the ball through the vacant slip area, got it a touch too fine and was beautifully caught one-handed by the diving Prior.
7th over: India 44-0 (Sehwag 33, Tendulkar 10) Sehwag flicks Anderson off the hip and the ball goes through Shahzad, who slips at deep square leg and lands awkwardly on his knee. Oh dear. Sehwag then waits and waits and! waits s ome more for the slower bouncer, and finally clubs it over mid on for four. After that shocking first over he has looked in ominous touch and has 33 from 21 balls. "If ads were the measure of cricketers, Naylor will be in for a surprise when he learns that Dhoni continues to endorse footwear, soda, cellphones, engine oil, T-shirts, energy drinks, supermarkets with guaranteed income of upwards of 30m over the next three years," says Shankar Kalyanaraman. "To paraphrase the great philosopher J. Seinfeld, Dhoni has remained the same, it's the medium that got big."
6th over: India 33-0 (Sehwag 23, Tendulkar 9) Tendulkar misses an attempted steer over the slips when Shahzad digs in a short one, and there are five from the over, which includes a brilliant save from Pietersen at deep backward square leg. "As a Welsh Pakistani this game should be a no win situation for me," says Zubair Shah, who must have been all over the place emotionally when this happened. "Yet I've been up since 8am waiting for it to start and waiting for someone to cork up Broad so he can get at Sehwag. Shahzad I fear will be the Anderson of old: 4-5 good balls and one to the ropes every over. Tell me I'm wrong?" You're not wrong, Walter, you're just just an as- erm, well he hasn't conceded a boundary in these last two overs. I like Shahzad a lot, although this is an almighty test of nerve for a young bowler.
5th over: India 28-0 (Sehwag 22, Tendulkar 5) A big LBW appeal from Anderson is caught in the throat when Tendulkar gets a late inside edge. The next ball is a jaffa, full and moving past the outside edge at the last minute. Beautiful bowling from Anderson. This is eventful stuff: Tendulkar flicks one a fraction short of Bresnan at midwicket, and then Sehwag cuts thrillingly for four. "OK, we need some good news," says Sara Torvalds. "Easy enough for me to provide that! : since I became interested in cricket (and an England fan), England have won the Ashes at home, become World T20 Champions and retained the Ashes Down Under - so all those previous World Cups that you mentioned in your preamble are ancient history. Because this England team not only has Andy Flower, it also has its luckiest fan: me."
4th over: India 21-0 (Sehwag 16, Tendulkar 4) On this day 15 years ago, Tendulkar was involved in a classic World Cup duel with Shane Warne. He made 90, saw off Warne (who had brilliant figures, something like 10-1-28-0), and was then stumped off a wide by Mark Waugh. It was one of the highlights of that competition. Anyway, that's a good response from Shahzad much straighter, although that does enable Tendulkar to work one off the hip for two. Three from the over. "I've been excited about this game for days even though I know we're done for," says Lori McConnachie. "What's that about?" You've seen the film Secretary, right?
3rd over: India 18-0 (Sehwag 15, Tendulkar 2) Jimmy Anderson has started superbly, with a bit of swing and an immaculate line and length. Tendulkar goes back to punch the first delivery through the covers for two, but those are the only runs from a very fine over. "Man up, Smyth," says John Terr Ian Copestake. "If we display the sort of fear your preamble riffs on then Mr Mainwaring is soon going to be hearing a familiar invocation of doom."
2nd over: India 16-0 (Sehwag 15, Tendulkar 0) The biggest game of Ajmal Shahzad's young career starts with a nervous wide half-volley that Sehwag plunders through the covers for four. He fizzes the fourth ball, again a touch too wide, through point for another boundary. Bloody hell, what a start. "Is it trite to say that cricket reveals the man?" says Gary Naylor. "I don't think so it's sheer scale and the nature of the challenges it sets surely make it impossible to construct a false identity, esp! ecially under the all-seeing gaze of the camera. I thought Dhoni a show pony when he burst on to the scene, all haircut, adverts and flash but faulty footwork behind the stumps. But cricket has revealed the real Dhoni and he is indeed an impressive man." Gary Naylor's back! And making eloquent, salient points right from the start! Mac Millings just slipped even further down the pecking order.
1st over: India 8-0 (Sehwag 7, Tendulkar 0) A sensational start to the match, with Virender Sehwag so nearly dismissed by the first, third and fifth balls of Jimmy Anderson's first over! He was dropped first ball at second slip, a very sharp chance for Swann as he leapt goalkeeper-style to his right. Actually I don't know whether Swann got a fingertip on it or whether it flew between his hands. Sehwag then got a leading edge as he attempted to work Anderson to leg, and the ball looped tantalisingly over the diving Bell at extra cover. And finally he got another leading edge, this time just back over the bowler's head. Three lucky escapes, and for Sehwag of all people. Amazing stuff. There was some encouraging swing for Anderson in that over, and I'll go to my box in the ground not knowing how he didn't take a wicket. "Isn't it a beautiful morning for being shut in a grey concrete block watching England lose?" says Richard O'Hagan. "But enough of Bull's predicament, because I think England have made a right mess of this team. Leaving out Ravi Bop weakens the batting. They needed the extra spinner but they had the chance to play him without Broad. I'm getting worried that one of the finest one-day players of his time, Andy Flower, doesn't quite understand this form of the game any more." Seriously? I don't know what else they could have done. Obviously they want to play two spinners, and the only alternative balance with Collingwood as third seamer is far too risky, especially against this batting line-up.
On a scale of 1 to magnificent, the atmosphere is Bengaluru is m! agnifice nt, even though there are still plenty of empty seats.
Statsguru is dead to me. It has just informed me that England have lost 11 of the last 12 ODIs against India in India.
Impartiality department Come on England! Let the fear go and accentuate the positive. Just imagine how good we'll feel if England do win today.
Team news A huge blow for England: their best fast bowler Stuart Broad is out of the match with a stomach problem (or Bully Belly, as it is now known after Andy Bull's problems the other day). He is replaced by Ajmal Shahzad, while Michael Yardy comes in for Ravi Bopara. India make one change, with the legspinner Piyush Chawla replacing Sreesanth. That's a smart move and MS Dhoni, unlike most captains in international sport, is comfortable enough in his own skin to admit that it's partly because of England's weakness against spin. Dhoni is such an impressive man.
India Sehwag, Tendulkar, Gambhir, Kohli, Yuvraj, Dhoni (c/wk), Pathan, Harbhajan, Zaheer, Chawla, Patel.
England Strauss (c), Pietersen, Trott, Bell, Collingwood, Prior (wk), Yardy, Bresnan, Swann, Shahzad, Anderson.
India have won the toss and will bat first and score 350. Andrew Strauss says he would have batted.
Preamble Hello. If you could put a shiny pound coin into a slot machine in exchange for the absolute truth about yourself - how beautiful you are, how decent a person, whether that string vest really is as bad as people say - would you do so? Of course not. Mankind isn't build to handle the truth, and it's much more ego-friendly to live on a mezzanine level between reality and delusion. Part Forrest Gump, part Walter Mitty.
Sometimes, however, the truth is unavoidable: when you do that double-mirror thing to check your bald patch and regret it instantly; when you step on a scales; when you check your bank balance after a 47-day bender. And, for England, whe! n you pl ay this Indian side at the World Cup. The games against Bangladesh and West Indies are the ones that will decide whether England reach the quarter-finals, but this is the one that will inform us whether they are contenders to win the competition, or whether this just another one to file alongside 1996, 1999 and 2007. At the moment, we don't really know how good a one-day side England are, but we will in a few hours' time. As that gorgeous Tindersticks song almost goes, the not knowing is easy, and the suspecting, that's okay, just don't tell me for certain, that we're a decidedly mediocre one-day outfit."
England have been terrible in the last month, but they have been able to rationalise the defeats to Australia and the moral defeat to the Netherlands. Yet there will be no legitimate excuses if they take a pounding from India's chilling top seven, as they did during a 5-0 defeat the last time these sides met in one-day cricket. Conversely, if England sneak a tight victory, as they did in their last international match against India at the World Twenty20 in 2009, they will be seriously empowered for the remainder of the tournament.
We craved excitement in this World Cup, and we darn well should have been careful what we wished for. As Mark Corrigan says when he's left alone with Toni in the first episode of Peep Show, in a tone that is almost self-goading: "Well, Mark, you asked for it and now you've got it." And so have we. We've got excitement all right, in Sehwag and Tendulkar and Gambhir and Kohli and Yuvraj and Dhoni and Pathan. Whose bright idea was this?
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