Liverpool v Sparta Prague live!
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Half-time: Reina's kick goes straight through to Blazek. The ref reckons it's a good time to end the first period.
45 min: Kusnir drifts into the Liverpool area unopposed and squares to Matejovsky, who really should have done better. Lucas then has a storming shot that flies, straight as a die, a yard or so wide of the post.
43 min: Various people are fouled. "I'm calling shenanigans on Phil Sawyer, no right-minded person would drink Grolsch from a can," says Colin Bolster drinking from a puddle on the floor.
40 min: Kelly gets in a cross again and it's dangerous enough that Sparta are forced to concede a corner. Kusnir then needs to head back to his keeper as Cole steals in.
37 min: Liverpool should have scored. Kuyt races down the right. Ngog hits it straight at the keeper, who fumbles it then miskicks. The miskick actually puts off Cole, coming in to finish things.
35 min: Poulsen is booked. Despite the fuss over Cole, most of Liverpool's best attacks have come down the right, although that's been down to Kelly's excellence going forward rather than Cole's failings.
33 min: Pamic goes in the book for some low graded jostling. A whole two minutes pass without some botched defending or wild shot off target. Disappointing.
31 min: Kelly's booked for a foul that results in a free-kick on the left-hand corner of the area. Sparta try and tempt Reina with a floating cross but there's a bit too much float and it goes straight out for a goal-kick."Can of ! beans? P ah!" says Phil Sawyer. "I've just opened a can of Grolsch. A much more important life skill. No injuries sustained so far." Give it another 11 and there'll be injuries aplenty.
28 min: Turns out I didn't miss anything while typing my "z". There was no handball involved in Liverpool's shot for the penalty.
26 min: Cole almost opens the scoring. Meireles is at the centre of things again, starting a move that ends with Kuyt laying off to Cole, who cuts inside and Blaznek is forced into a good save. Liverpool have another penalty shout for handball turned down but I was typing the "z" in Blaznek when it happened so can't tell vouch for its validity.
24 min: This is a disgracefully open game. Meireles gets himself on the end of the cross around the penalty spot. He's stumbling as he hits it though and the ball clears the bar.
22 min: Now it's Cole's turn to miss with his head. And it was a proper A grade miss too. Kelly delivers and Cole darts ahead of his marker but manages to head, oooh, 10 yards or so wide. More uncertain keeping fro Reina. He completely misses a Sparta cross and he's a very lucky boy that Sionko can't find an angle for his shot. "Do we take it, then, that Joe Cole is lukewarm water," wonders Steven Hughes. "Spinal Tap's Derek Smalls likened himself to lukewarm water too and the audience reaction to his 'Jazz Odyssey' opus has been strangely similar to reactions to Cole's performances for Liverpool, with thumbs pointing down all around."
20 min: Meireles strokes a lovely ball across the pitch. The control isn't as good as the pass though but it does eventually lead to a Liverpool corner which Ngog heads at the keeper.
18 min: Kyrgiakos causes trouble again. A Liverpool corner plops on to his forehead and Blazek has to sprawl to his right to turn the ball away.
16 min: Ngog wins a free-kick. It's launched towards Kyrgiakos who's p! rowled i nto the box but Kusnir is there to clear. "Hello, this may be quite left field but I think King Kenny is shunting Joe Cole into the world of celebrity chefdom, a la Ramsey, by refashioning the tiny jinker as a domestic genius," says Toby Stone. "The next few press conferences will develop the first two steps of bean-opening and hot water pouring into the recipe for a delicious chilli. Kenny may already have the tie in for the audio recipe book."
14 min: Lovely move from Sparta. Vacek's backheel releases Sionko, who's been dangerous so far, and his ball forces a save from Reina. Liverpool respond with a free-kick that sails into the night sky.
12 min: Sionko heads over. He had two team-mates in the box with him too Sparta aren't here to sit back in the hope of nicking a goal.
10 min: Meireles has a thrash in the area but a thrash is all it is and the ball flies over.
8 min: Sparta are almost clean through but Kelly muscles his opponent out of the way and Liverpool can clear. Both sides have been 79 times more interesting in the first 10 minutes than they were in the entire 90 minutes in the first-leg. Sparta don't look cowed either.
6 min: First significant contribution from Cole. Eschewing the can of beans on the sideline he puts in a fine floating cross that Blazek has to tip over. It had already gone out though and it's a goal-kick. Seconds later it takes a sharp tackle from Kusnir to dispossess Cole.
5 min: Wilson loses the ball just outside the area. It's cleared for a throw in but Kyrgiakos then heads into the path of a Sparta player, Reina then has a fumble of his own. Not the best of starts for Liverpool's defence.
3 min: Handball! The ball bounces into Pamic's hand, the ref reckons it was accidental and his little mate on the goal-line agrees.
1 min: And we're off. "I have just opened a tin of sardines, without! a safet y net and without cutting myself, much," says Shane O'Leary. "I don't want to play for Liverpool because they're too far from my house, but maybe you could call Mr Wenger and let him know that I'm better than Joe Cole and able to play this weekend." I did have Steve Claridge on my phone once. Does that count? You could get a guest slot on the Football League Show opening various tins. Manish would like that.
5.56pm: "Pah!" cries Machiel Akkerman. "Marco Van Basten could do better than opening a mere can of beans." How's he going to drink that beer now though, he's spilled it everywhere. Genius indeed.
5.50pm: In the pre-match interview, Kenny Dalglish says Glen Johnson has been left out as a precaution he picked up an an injury yesterday. He also says the onus is on Liverpool to attack. Does anyone else find upbeat High On Life Kenny unnerving? He's made tight-lipped mumbling a joy to behold.
5.46pm: According to the Uefa website (and, for what it's worth, Jim Rosenthal on Five) Joe Cole will be on the left exactly where Roy Hodgson played him. He may have preferred to start in the middle but this is what happens when your main skill is opening tins of beans.
5.43pm: "Re: the hot water debate," says Robin Hazlehurst. "Joe Cole has an England striker colleague who has been referred to as a long thin streak of warm water, so if Cole is hot water than he should be better than that right? Is that a recommendation? Not sure..."
5.38pm: "Just worried that Liverpool have very little on the bench to change the game," says Paul Foy, ignoring the fact that Jamie Carragher can score an own goal with an ill-timed lunge at any point.
The tie's tight after a 0-0 draw in the first leg but Sparta's record in England is, shall we say, mixed. Actually, it's consistent: they have only won once in 1983 against Watford and lost five of the six games since then.
Kenny Dalglish on Joe Cole: "Joe's got the ability to open up a can of beans." It's a ! life ski ll, you've got to admit that. "Even hot water takes a while to come through so, for Joe, it's not fair for us to judge him right now." Does this mean Joe's better or worse than hot water? And is hot water a good thing on a football pitch anyway?
Preamble: The teams are through so without further ado. As reported elsehwhere, Steven Gerrard still isn't fit enough to start (or sit on the bench for that matter) so up and coming hotshot Joseph Cole has a chance to stake his claim in the team.
Liverpool: Reina, Kelly, Kyrgiakos, Agger, Wilson, Poulsen, Lucas, Kuyt, Meireles, Cole, Ngog. Subs: Gulacsi, Pacheco, Jovanovic, Maxi, Carragher, Spearing, Skrtel.
Sparta Prague: Blazek, Kusnir, Repka, Brabec, Pamic, Vacek, Sionko, Matejovsky, Abena, Kadlec, Kweuke. Subs: Zitka, Podany, Kladrubsky, Zeman, Husek, Keric, Pekhart.
Referee: Milorad Mazic (Serbia)
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