India v Pakistan live!
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8th over: India 65-1 (Tendulkar 27, Gambhir 2) An awesome piece of timing from Tendulkar, whose gentle push off Riaz races through midwicket for four. He is then duped by a smart slower ball from Wahab that grips and hits him on the hip, but responds with a thrilling square drive for four. He looks in sumptuous touch. Can you imagine the noise if he gets his 100th hundred today.
7th over: India 57-1 (Tendulkar 15, Gambhir 2) Sehwag has gone but Umar Gul is still haemorrhaging runs. A poor delivery on the pads is tickled fine for four by Tendulkar, who then times three more through the coverse. Gul's figures are an R-rated 4-0-41-0. "If you needed any other evidence that today's semi is a biggie, here in Norway must be the place to look," says Geoff May. "The national television station, NRK1, has cleared out its daytime schedule to show the entire game live. First time ever that cricket has been shown on Noggy TV, so I am told. Hopefully they will have found some interesting commentators for it; I'm looking forward to my colleagues asking what a pinny is and why Boycott's mother would use it to catch balls."
6th over: India 49-1 (Tendulkar 8, Gambhir 1) Excellent stuff from Wahab Riaz: just two runs and that crucial wicket. "Room 101," says Peter Mattessi. "People who employ stupid, moronic, infantile internet speak, written or spoken. 'Oh noes', 'I haz a hunger', 'respek' etc. Grow up you effing imbeciles." But... but... but... look at the cute cat!
WICKET! India 48-1 (Sehwag LBW b Wahab Riaz 38) Silence in Mohali. Virender Sehwag has gone! Wahab Riaz replaced Abdul Razzaq and struck with his fifth ball. It was homed in towards middle and leg from over the wicket, not bouncing as much as we might have expected, and was certainly hitting the stumps as Sehwag flicked desperately around his front pad. Simon Taufel gave it out, but Sehwag reviewed the decision straight away, presumably thinking or hoping it pitched outside leg. It didn't, and he has to go after a storming innings of 38 from 25 balls.
5th over: India 47-0 (Sehwag 38, Tendulkar 8) Another over, two more boundaries for Sehwag. The first was crunched wristily through midwicket when Gul overpitched just a touch. You could almost hear the boing of his wrists as he played the stroke. Two balls later he reached high above his head to steer a slower, wider bouncer over backward point and away for four. Pakistan surely have to go to spin soon. "I'm a British Pakistani on a road trip with a British Indian, from London to jerusalem in an old Mercedes 190," says Zubair Shah. "Today we are in Damascus and I'm desperately trying to find somewhere showing the game. There are 1014 channels on my hotel TV showing everything in the world but no cricket. Maybe I should have listened to my mum and stayed at home. OBO Zindabad is all I can say!"
4th over: India 39-0 (Sehwag 30, Tendulkar 8) I already have 70 unread email so, er, PLEASE STOP keep 'em coming. And apologies if I don't get round to yours. It's not me, it's you. Or something. Early impressions are that this is a 300 pitch, and Sehwag's start means that Tendulkar can play his usual game anchoring the innings at a strike rate of 100. He squirts Razzaq past point for three and then Sehwag smears a disdainful boundary down the ground. Utter contempt. He has raced to 30 from 17 balls, and when he gets off strike Tend! ulkar co mpletes another expensive over with a classical extra-cover drive for four. "Room 101 candidate," begins Harkarn Sumal. "The first time that I heard anyone using the word 'texed' as a past tense of 'text' (the recently coined noun), I despaired at the riff-raff. But now that it seems to have crept in to common usage I've taken this as my cue to entirely give up on modern civilisation. My wife's started doing it now and this pretty much guarantees one major domestic every week, along the lines of 'why can't you say it properly?' invariably triggering the default response 'Why are you completely useless in every respect?' and a great big hufty strop."
3rd over: India 27-0 (Sehwag 25, Tendulkar 1) Astonishing stuff from Virender Sehwag, who has just smacked Umar Gul's second over for 21! It includes an amazing five boundaries two to midwicket and one each through square leg, backward point and cover and also a front-foot no-ball. Gul is Pakistan's best seamer, and Sehwag has just treated him like Martin McCague. "I've travelled for four hours on local Kentish buses (Room 101 please!) to visit my gran," says Niall Harden. "She has Sky Sports. Pure coincidence." I hope she's cancelled her subscription without telling you, and has only the five basic channels and an Are You Being Served DVD.
2nd over: India 6-0 (Sehwag 5, Tendulkar 1) Pakistan decide not to open with spin, despite the success of that tactic in the quarter-final defenestration of the West Indies, so it will be Abdul Razzaq to share the new ball. Accurate medium pacers have given Tendulkar a few problems down the years none more so than Hansie Cronje, absurd as that sounds and he is watchful for a few deliveries before getting off the mark with a very tight single to mid on. Wahab Riaz's throw missed the stumps, although I think Tendulkar was just home. Two sin! gles fro m the over. "I'd like to put into Room 101 people asking bar staff if they can 'get' whatever they want to order," says Phil Lamb. "'Can I get a pint of Amstel?' No, you can't. The bar staff will get it." That's the kind of wonderfully minor thing that we should include. I love the idea of Phil Lamb's entire Friday night out being ruined by some punter's frivolous use of the word 'get'.
1st over: India 4-0 (Sehwag 4, Tendulkar 0) Umar Gul roars in to bowl the first ball, and Sehwag plays and misses at a filthy wide delivery. There is usually a bit of [Michael Holding voice] pace and bounce [/Michael Holding voice] at Mohali, and the general consensus is that this is a belter. Sehwag gets the party started with an effortless cover drive for four off the third delivery, holding the pose theatrically at the end of his follow through. Gul responds with a good one that beats Sehwag's angled-bat force. A lively start.
"You're just two games away from being the first OBOer to avoid the World Cup meltdown," says Alex Netherton, who is referring to an, a-hem, proud Guardian cricket World Cup tradition in evidence here and here. Don't worry, Alex: if this game goes to a Super Over, the only word I'll be capable of typing will be 'Wibble'.
Where are you watching today's game? Tell us your stories, obviously the more interesting the better. An 'I'm at work in Farringdon eating cheese bread and filling in some forms' probably isn't that interesting.
Statgasm department Pakistan have never beaten India at a World Cup or a World Twenty20.
Recycling old riffs department What would you put in Room 101? Not the obvious stuff smoking, Toploader, football, the internet, eye contact but the little things that annoy you inordinately. Like the word! 'tweeps '. And the word 'peeps'. And trendy shop assistants in trendy shops who are too hip and trendy and very to bother with the word pounds, and instead say "that's 20 please". Twenty what? Pence? Clams? Epiphanies? Seconds to comply?
"Usually," says Ian Copestake, "squeaky bum time is reserved for the end of matches, not before they've even begun."
Previously on India v Pakistan We tend not to do Joy of Sixes on cricket, but if we had done India v Pakistan, the list might have been something like this: Javed Miandad's legendary last-ball six to win the Australasia Cup final of 1986 Anil Kumble's ten-for in 1999 Wasim Akram's astonishing over to Rahul Dravid, also in 1999... Javed Miandad getting friendly with Kiran More in 1992 Sunny Gavaskar's heroic 96 in his final Test innings (and in a stunning series decider, with which the unfamiliar should acquaint themselves quick smart) and Majid Khan's response to some negative bowling from Kapil Dev in 1978.
India have won the toss, to wild cheers, and will bat first. They have brought in the left-arm seamer Ashish Nehra for the offspinner Ravichandran Ashwin. Pakistan are unchanged, which means no place for Shoaib Akhtar. Bah! Shahid Afridi, emitting his usual hyperactive cool, announces that the toss isn't important anyway, and that the pitch will help the spinners.
India Sehwag, Tendulkar, Gambhir, Kohli, Yuvraj, Dhoni (c/wk), Raina, Harbhajan, Zaheer, Patel, Nehra.
Pakistan Hafeez, K Akmal (wk), Shafiq, Younis, Misbah, U Akmal, Afrid! i (c), R azzaq, Wahab, Gul, Ajmal.
The mood of the day, captured in one email from Waqas Mir "Bloodyhellbloodyhellbloodyhell!"
Preamble Morning. There has been so much hype about this game that it's important we put it in perspective. It is, after all, only the biggest game in cricket history. The fact that the winners go through to a World Cup final is almost incidental. This is India v Pakistan. India v Pakistan. India v Pakistan. India v Pakistan.
Everybody wants to win cricket matches, but it's hard to imagine that anybody has ever needed to win a match as much as these sides today. Take the thing you have needed the most in your life to hold the hand of The One, perhaps, or a fish-finger sandwich when all you have to cook in the flat is bread, fresh air and some intimidatingly funky cheese multiply it by a thousand and you're still nowhere near. Those of us born and raised in Britain have not got a clue how big this game is.
There is an obvious hope concern that it will kick off, and at least one of the losing team will probably have their house stoned tonight, but hopefully the cricket will take precedence. Both sides have otherworldly talents and the pick of them, Sachin Tendulkar, is on 99 international centuries. If he becomes the first man to reach a hundred hundreds today, the entire known universe may grind to a halt.
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