Bolton Wanderers v Arsenal live!
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30mins: Wilshere's scamper forward is halted when Davies' leg appears from behind him and prods the ball away. A totally fair, utterly clean challenge but one he'd surely never have dared attempt if he was already on a booking. Just saying, like.
28mins: Apparently commentators in Spain think Bolton should have been down to nine by now. "On that last lunge by Taylor the one announcer said 'Roja, roja. Es Roja!'" writes Nathaniel Davies. "Before lapsing into comedy English: 'only - yellow - card.'"
27mins: Taylor crosses from the left, Szczesny tries his very best to fumble the ball in rather than gathering, but doesn't quite manage it.
25mins: Djourou's air-kick allows Matt Taylor to race into Arsenal's penalty area, but his left-foot blast is from too silly an angle to worry Szczesny.
24mins: Sturridge's excellent pass releases Lee, running through the Arsenal defence. Instead of shooting, though, he tries a bizarre backheel square-ball to Davies and Arsenal intercept and clear. Great pass, and the best chance of the game.
21mins: Bolton do what Bolton do hump the ball up to Davies, he flicks it on, and Sturridge scampers away. Only Djourou's excellent intervention stops him from getting a shot in.
20mins: Now Taylor's been booked, for a late, high-legged sliding mess of a challenge.
18mins: "I think the 'unsuccessful' issue is that their seasons of late tend to mirror their matches lots of fantastic praise-worthy action and no ultimate result," writes Linda Howard of Arsenal. "Think o! f that w inners' circle as a six yard box they piddle around time and time again. Not a 'successful' feeling." Yeah, maybe. There's more to life (and sport) than the accumulation of trophies. Fun as that might be for a while, titles are only of interest to statisticians. Other humans should surely be more interested in being entertained and Arsenal do that job pretty well, while still winning most of their matches.
16mins: Can these players just stop doing things I have to write about and give me a moment to type? Now Fabregas's 20-yarder is turned round the post at full stretch by a diving Jaaskelainen. This is good stuff.
15mins: Sturridge plays Steinsson into space on the right, and his cross is met, just ahead of the near post, by Kevin Davies. The first-time shot zips wide.
14mins: It's not all one-way traffic. Sturridge does well to ferry the ball out of defence and Bolton briefly have 4v4, but Lee's cross doesn't cut much mustard.
13mins: Song, who must be pretty relieved to still be on the pitch, is booed by the home fans for overdoing his reaction to Davies' horror challenge.
12mins: Kevin Davies absolutely ploughs into Song, arriving slightly after the ball had departed. A disgraceful challenge, though not quite a red card. The referee doesn't even book him. Utter madness. Whatever Kevin Phillips said about Mike Jones, I agree.
9mins: Lovely run by Wilshere, keeping possession and bringing the ball out of defence, but he's brought down by Muamba. An absolute, cast-iron certain yellow card from where I was sitting, and the referee Mike Jones agrees, but he's getting a bit of a kicking on Sky's commentary (though I must say I'm loath to disagree with the great Kevin Phillips, todays co-commentator).
6mins: Theo Walcott seems set for an enjoyable afternoon, given that he is up against a left-back in Paul Robinson who he can both outrun and outjump! . Anyway , he finds space again before passing the ball along the edge of the area to Fbregas, who blasts over.
4mins: Walcott escapes down the inside right channel, sends in a low cross which, while never looking likely to actually go in, is still too hot for Jaaskelainen to hold. The ball rebounds to Nasri, but his effort is blocked.
3mins: Jack Wilshere, the subject of much focus on his return to the club where he enjoyed a profitable loan spell last season, scurries down the right before sending in a decent cross which, inevitably, no team-mate fancies getting on the end of.
2 mins: The first minute's commentary throws up this double-whammy: "2011 has been a terrible year for Arsenal" ... "they're the only unbeaten team in the Premier League." I do hope that one day my team can be as unsuccessful as Arsenal.
1min: Peeeeep! And they're off!
3.59pm: Inevitable interesting pre-match @optajoe stat: Bolton have hit the woodwork least often this season (five times), Arsenal the most (20).
3.56pm: Bolton's players are lining up in the tunnel. Lots of people in the crowd are wearing silly outfits. The Arsenal players are there too. It's action time.
3.49pm: Sky are hosting a debate about whether we need a winter break. Pur-leese, I thought that hoary old chestnut was done with for eight months or so.
3.41pm: Gary Naylor responds to our continuing auto-refresh crisis. "The Guardian have had this obvious problem for ages now and still haven't done anything about it," he notes. "Who's in charge of your IT? Arsne Wenger?"
3.39pm: Thanks to Richard Eloli for this Australian bloopers compilation, which includes possibly my favourite goal celebration of the season (zip straight to it by clicking here). The lad looks genuinely delighted, for a short while.
3.25pm: Of course, there was a time when Bolton were something of a bogey team for Arsenal. No more, though: Arsenal have won their last eight games against the Trotters, including three here, and the clubs' Premier League head-to-head reads: Played: 23, Arsenal wins: 14, Draws: 5, Bolton wins: 4.
3.17pm: In no way related to this game question of the day: Fiorentina have a 16-year-old Brazilian striker called Jackson Beckham Diego Socrates da Silva Jesus. Is he the first professional footballer named after England's own David Beckham? It certainly shows just how old the LA-based midfield veteran is getting...
3.14pm: The teams are in and we're told that Johan Elmander will line up in central midfield for Bolton.
Bolton: Jaaskelainen, Steinsson, Cahill, Knight, Robinson, Lee, Elmander, Muamba, Taylor, Sturridge, Kevin Davies. Subs: Bogdan, Petrov, Mark Davies, Klasnic, Moreno, Cohen, Wheater.
Arsenal: Szczesny, Sagna, Djourou, Koscielny, Clichy, Song, Wilshere, Walcott, Fabregas, Nasri, van Persie. Subs: Lehmann, Ramsey, Squillaci, Arshavin, Eboue, Gibbs, Chamakh.
Referee: Mike Jones.
3.10pm: Well, Arsenal probably can't win the title this season. That situation won't change even if they win today, but if they don't, we'll be able to exchange the word "probably" with "definitely". Bolton, arses still stinging from last week's FA Cup semi-final hiding from Stoke, simply must be beaten.
3pm: Good afternoon, world. I hope you're out somewhere, enjoying the bumper bank holiday sunshine and preparing to follow this afternoon's game and engage in some email-based banter via a mobile device. I'll sit inside and watch TV, friends, so! you don 't have to.
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