Blackburn Rovers v Bolton Wanderers | Jacob Steinberg
Hit F5 for the latest or select our auto-refresh button below
Keep up with Norwich v Wolves on our match centre
Check out the latest tables with our stats centre
And why not email jacob.steinberg.casual@guardian.co.uk
31 min: How can Venky's not act now? Blackburn can simply not play under these conditions. Their fans are booing anything that moves, chanting against the manager and they're holding up copies of the Lancashire Evening Telegraph, the local paper that called for Kean to resign yesterday. Oh, and they're losing 2-0 at home to the bottom side.
GOAL! Blackburn 0-2 Bolton (Reo-Coker, 30 min): You hear that? That's the sound of a clock ticking. This is a brilliant counter-attacking goal from Bolton. Reo-Coker was again at the heart of it, starting the break and finding Petrov on the left. He hit a low cross into the middle, where Reo-Coker had continued his run. The ball was just behind him but he was in so much space that he was able to control the cross, swivel and then, as he was falling and a defender tried to tackle him, he managed to almost block-tackle a spinning shot into the bottom-right corner. No prizes for guessing what noise the goal was greeted by.
29 min: Positives: Blackburn have had some throws in Bolton's half, the equivalent of a woman you don't know accidentally brushing against you in the street.
28 min: Blackburn are cordially invited to join in this match whenever they fancy. "Thanks, all, for the kind words," says Mac Millings. "By the way, when was the Paraguay MBM? If it was 9 months ago, tell Ryan Dunne I was otherwise engaged. Not for the full 90 minutes, obviously."
26 min: Bolton have another corner. This must be because Sam Allardyce is! in the studio. Petrov takes it again, Blackburn clear with a fair bit of difficulty. "If you're going to call someone useless at least get their name right," says Stephen Green. "It's Jason Lowe who plays for Blackburn. KEAN OUT, STEINBERG OUT!" Who's Ryan Lowe?
24 min: Samba gets a vital clearing header on another vicious Petrov corner, which was whipped dangerously into the six-yard box. The ball comes back to Petrov, who drifts inside and curves in another teasing cross, which Hanley hacks at and turns behind for a corner on the left. Petrov, the greedy sod, takes that too, hanging it high to the far post, where Knight gets up to nod down for Cahill. Completely unmarked around 15 yards out, he should at least get his shot on target but instead dismally skews wide of the left post.
22 min: "Hughesy! Hughesy! Hughesy!" chant the Blackburn fans. He'll want no part in this mess.
20 min: Blackburn's main tactic has been to hoof the ball high into Bolton's area. I imagine that's precisely what Zat Knight wants them to do. They need to have a re-think, get Formica on the ball and Hoilett running at the leakiest defence in the league. "Please don't be too hard on Mac," says Philip West. "When my first daughter was born in 1992 I was (politely) kicked out of the hospital as I had the flu. I spent the first 12 hours of her life talking to everyone/anyone on the phone that I could! Congratulations to Mac, Mrs Mac, and may Miss Mac live a long and happy life! P.S. who cares about the game now??"
18 min: Bolton are very content with this lead and, if anything, look the likelier to score again. Though there's been very little action in either penalty area since the goal. It's mostly up to Blackburn to summon up some inspiration then; they need to get Hoilett into the game. "You think you're hardcore Jacob, I was at Paraguay v Venezuela - and I left before the bust-up at the end," says Max Bluer. "Though I'll admit it wasn't 3am ove! r there. .."
16 min: Here's that Suarez story.
15 min: There hasn't been much of a response from Blackburn, who look like they have about as much chance as scoring as Mel Gibson at a Jewish wedding. "Well done Mac Millings, that's a lovely Christmas present for you and your good woman," says Justin Kavanagh. "And your sharing the joy with us proves that you've got two qualities that will be severely missed in the Blackburn defence tonight: heart and b0llocks. So while we're sending out season's greetings, get well soon Scott Dann and Gael Givet."
14 min: If you missed it before, Luis Suarez has been found guilty of racially abusing Patrice Evra and has been banned for eight games and fined 40,000.
12 min: The staggeringly useless Jason Lowe is booked for tugging back Petrov, who had easily skinned the Blackburn right-back. "Haven't looked forward to a Premier League game so much for a while," says Mike Landers. "But then, I'm a Burnley fan and the boards are full of discussion on who we want to win "El Sackico". Consensus seems to be a home win spelling the end for Coyle and giving Kean a few more weeks to finish the job. Bitter? Maybe, but hey, that's football fans for you." There's a healthy amount of hate about this evening.
11 min: Ngog receives the ball with his back to goal in the Blackburn area and holds off his marker, before laying it off to Reo-Coker, whose fierce drive is deflected over the top. Petrov takes his third set-piece of the evening already and Ngog is this far away from heading it in the far post. Hanley was nowhere to be seen.
10 min:Formica earns a booking for a late slide on Steinson on the right flank. Petrov's inswinger is booted away though. They look vulnerable every time Bolton go forward.
8 min: Bolton deal comfortably with! yet mor e head tennis in and around their area. "Impressed by the 3am Paraguay MBM gig Jacob!" says Ryan Dunne. "Although, having checked it out, I'm disappointed to see no emails from Gary Naylor, Mac Millings (congratulations on the baby!) et all. It seems like some MBM contributors have, frankly, skewed priorities."
6 min: Well. Blackburn look for an instant riposte, but Yakubu's harmless header floats harmless off target. Going back to the goal, Davies's shot went underneath Robinson, but the goalkeeper did see the shot late, so it's hard to be too harsh on him. The problem arose from Samba's initial non-challenge on Reo-Coker.
GOAL! Blackburn 0-1 Bolton (Mark Davies, 5 min): BOOOOOOO! What a terrible start for Blackburn and what a brilliant start for Bolton. Reo-Coker bursts on to a flick-on and surges into the Blackburn area on the right, past a feeble challenge from Samba of all people. From a tight angle, he tried to cut the ball back but his cross was blocked by Robinson. The ball squirted away from him though and came back to Ngog, who took his time and then played it back to Davies in a central position inside the area. He cut inside and then rammed a low shot which somehow made its way past Robinson and a clutch of defenders on the line. The mood darkens, the mutinous chants get louder.
3 min: Paul Robinson lumps the first free-kick of many up into the Bolton area and towards Samba, who can't hold it up. Dunn then wins a throw on the left and Pedersen Delaps it in, only for Bolton to defend it well. "If I could just talk you through the dilemma all Burnley fans have with tonights game, as every single Burnley fan I know is glued to tonights game," says Rob Smith. "Do we want Blackburn to win? Sure, we hate Rovers, but a win will extend Agent Kean's tenure by approximately 6 months / years. Also, and as important for us, it would mean Bolton, managed by Owen Loyal will be adrift at the bottom. We all know Blackburn will still go down! , but I think the most I can want is a draw, with Kean staying and Judas being fired. Merry Christmas anyway." And a Happy Chanukah to you.
2 min: Mark Davies raps a pass into the Blackburn area, and Lowe needlessly concedes a corner over on the right. Petrov takes it but it's sent straight to the near post and Pedersen heads away. The 'Kean out!' chants have already started.
1 min: Bolton, in their black away strip, get us going, kicking from right to left. There's a decent atmosphere inside the ground. It won't last long. "I think Blackburn have the talent to get a win here," says Adrian Gentry. "Samba has got lovely quick feet, Formica covers a lot of ground and Goodwillie has got a magnificent.... Anyway." After what happened to Dann, too soon.
Breaking news: Luis Suarez has been given an eight-match ban. There'll be a story on the website soon. Steve Kean can't even hog the limelight properly.
The teams stroll out of the tunnel. They'll be trying and failing to play football imminently.
Never accuse this man of lacking dedication. "Hawrite Jacob!" says Ryan Dunne. "Happy Holidays (and mad props for Hannukah tomorrow!). As it's the time (give or take) for End of Year reminisces, any chance of an "MBM of the Year" riff/voting contest? I liked the ones I was in, and any that featured interesting and single-sounding women, but a special mention must surely go for those 6-1 and 8-2 games, especially if one is an old skool F5 basher. Hitting refresh gave the sort of internet excitement not seen since (er,one would imagine) the days of finally succeeding in dowloading a bongo pic on a dial-up connection! Plus how about a contest for the best MBM *officiator*? That would keep you guys on your toes!" I win for doing Paraguay 0-0 Venezuela at 3am in the summer.
Does anyone actually believe ! the foll owing? "Baby," begins Mac Millings. "That subject line isn't me addressing you in an over-familiar (but surprisingly welcome, no?) fashion; it's my way of announcing the birth of my daughter, who arrived just 6 hours ago. My real point in emailing is to let you know that you do have at least one reader who's done it." Other readers could learn from Millings. His baby daughter is six hours old and here he is emailing a Guardian MBM. Your wife is one lucky woman, Millings. But seriously, that's enough of my Banter Claus impression - congratulations.
Not the finest moment for Sky's researchers. They've just interviewed Nigel Mediocre about West Ham's awful season in 2006-07 and the interviewer said he scored two big goals "near the end of that season". One of them was against Manchester United in December, the other was against Wigan - in the previous season.
An email. "My daughter says Steve Kean looks like Voldemort," says Helen Logan, who just uttered He Who Must Not Be Name's name out loud.
Phil Brown is a studio pundit! He's wearing a purple checked shirt and a very shiny black tie. You should read this recent interview with him. Alongside him is Sam Allardyce, who may well enjoy what he's about to watch.
I quite admire Steve Kean's rictus grin. As he stepped off the team bus, he was greeted by a load of Blackburn fans booing and chanting "Kean Out!" and there he was, pretending everything's ok, smiling and waving to what I assume he imagines was an adoring public. Keep calm and carry on, Steve.
Team news. Blackburn have Morten Gamst Pedersen at left-back, but Bolton have David Ngog, so tonight we may find out what happens when a movable force meets a stoppable object. Those look like two desperately poor sides though and both will need inspiration from their wide men, Junior Hoil! ett and Martin Petrov.
Blackburn: Robinson; Lowe, Samba, Hanley, Pedersen; Hoilett, Dunn, Nzonzi, Vukcevic; Formica; Yakubu. Subs: Bunn, Petrovic, Rochina, Blackman, Goodwillie, Roberts, Henley.
Bolton: Jaaskelainen; Steinsson, Cahill, Knight, Alonso; Mark Davies, Reo-Coker, Muamba, Petrov; Klasnic, Ngog. Subs: Bogdan, Robinson, Eagles, Tuncay, Kevin Davies, Pratley, Boyata.
Referee: Martin Atkinson (W Yorkshire)
Thre's no pleasing some football fans. Sure, since Venky's came in and started clucking everything up at Blackburn, saying they want to finish "fourth or fifth" as if they had a choice either way, sacking Sam Allardyce, hiring Steve Kean, backing Steve Kean, giving Steve Kean a new contract, going after Ronaldinho and David Beckham and Pele and Jimmy Grimble and that bloke from Goal 2, making that advert and leading the side to the heady heights of fourth 19th, the mood at Ewood Park has turned mutinous. But look at it this way: tonight, every Blackburn fan who buys a meat pie inside the ground gets a free mince pie with it. And still they complain. JUST WHAT DO THESE INGRATES WANT?
Of course, there's every chance that the Blackburn fans will take up the offer simply so they're amply armed with stuff to throw at Kean when Bolton score a 90th minute winner, just like West Brom did on Saturday. That defeat has apparently left Kean on the brink, but that remains to be seen, even if they do lose to Bolton this evening, given that he has been handed so many chances already. Handing out chances is one reason why Blackburn are in this mess. Tonight their defence is comprised of Christopher Samba and three other goons, what with Scott Dann having wince ruptured a testicle and Gael Givet out with a heart condition.
Remarkably Bolton are currently even worse off than Blackburn at the moment. Their de! mise was n't entirely unexpected, but their form has been shocking this season. They can't defend, their two best players, Stuart Holden and Lee Chung-yong are out, they haven't replaced Danny Sturridge or Johan Elmander and their signings have been mediocre. Suffice to say, it looks grim and while some feel a safe pair of hands, an Alan Curbishley type for example, might do a better job than Owen Coyle, if the money's not there, any manager is going to struggle to keep them up. If they fail to win tonight, Bolton will be bottom at Christmas, more or less sealing their fate. So, every cloud, Steve. Oh, and happy anniversary!
Comments