Premier League clockwatch! | Paul Doyle

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Here is your classified thingy:
Aston Villa 1-2 Arsenal
Everton 1-0 Swansea
Fulham 0-5 Man United
Man City 3-0 Stoke
Newcastle 2-3 WBA
QPR 2-3 Sunderland
Wigan 0-0 Liverpool

9.53pm: It's all over at the DW, where Liverpool leave with just a point following Al Habsi's penalty save from Adam.

GOAL! QPR 2-3 Sunderland (Brown 89') Brown atones for some slack defending by coming up from the back to knock the ball into the net from a Richardson corner!

GOALS! Fulham 0-5 United (Rooney 88', Berbatov 90) Fulham's disgrace is complete as Rooney fires home from 20 yards before Berbatvo turns in a Valencia's cross from close range.

9.49pm: Bellamy booked for dissent, would you believe. "Patrick Finch is quite right and I claim no Dutch language expertise," retorts Nathan "Tsjongejonge" Rippen. "But 'boy oh boy' doesn't quite catch it all for me. It's definitely more exasperated than that. I like to think of it as a Carry On-style, 'bloody hell'."

9.47pm: I see that twitter is aflame with claims that Phil Jones' will be out for six weeks with a broken cheekbone. That has not been confirmed: come back to the guardian.co.uk soon for the facts.

87 min: To boos from the home fans and cheers from the visitors, Suarez wanders off the pitch to be replaced by Andy Carroll.

9.45pm: Oh! A near-post flick-on from the corner (a routine you don't see so much these days for some reason) catches Reina unaware. Moses sticks a leg out instinctively but directs the shot fractionally wide.

!

9.45pm: Moses scuttles down the right and pings a delightful cross to the back post. Rodallega rises well and nods towards goal but Johnson puts it behind for a corner.

9.41pm: Figueroa stings Reina's hands with a scorching drive from 25 yards. This is by no means one-way traffic at the DW.

9.39pm: Splendid last-dtich block by Caldwell to deny Bellany at the DW. "Just seen the liverpool players' pre-match attire." beigns Jonathan Haskoll. "I know I'm a bit late with this but does anyone else find Liverpool's total lack of contrition and humility quite shocking?" Shocked is perhaps the wrong word.

9.38pm: "Is Hutton the worst tackler in the league?" spits Sandile Xaso. "He could've snapped Vermaelen's leg." Hutton is not a great tackle. In fact, I'm not sure what he is great at, other than running forward in a straight line quite fast.

9.37pm: Full-time at Villa Park, whence Arsenal emerge with their eighth win in their last 10 games. The final whistle has also gone at St James' Park, sealign a victory for West Brom. And City's 3-0 victory over Stoke has been confirmed.

RED CARD! Moments after getting a yellow, Hutton sees red for a dumb late foul.

9.35pm: Roberto Martinez senses Liverpool are there for the taking and makes attackign susbtitutions. meanwhile, Patrick Finch quibbles with Nathan Rippin's translation skills. "Tsjongejonge can almost literally be translated as 'boy oh boy'.

9.34pm: Fabulous save by Kenny to keepu out Craig Gardner as Sudnerland seek a late winner. Meanwhile at Villa Park, Hutton is booked after a kerfuffle involving several players.

9.32pm: Villa are hellbent for an equaliser but Arsenal are holding firm. "According to my calculations, Marc Albrighton's goal was the 137,311th goal in the English top flight," squawks James Murton. "So perhaps the Premier League can be informed, and instead give Albrighton 137,311 t! o donate to the charity of his choice?"

9.31pm: Fulham have rediscovered some self-respect and are starting to pose problem to United, Dempsey forcing a splendid late intervention by Smalling to snuff out a shooting chance.

GOAL! Newcastle 2-3 WBA (Scharner 85') Lovely lay-off by Odemwingie for Scharner, who enflames a half-volley into the net!

GOAL! Villa 1-2 Arsenal (Benayoun 87') A rare header from the Isreali, who loses Agbonlahor to nut in a Van Persie corner.

9.27pm: Adam chips a freekick to Dirk Kuyt, who squanders a glorious opportunity. Tsjongejonge! As Dutch folks might say. Here, let Nathan Rippin elaborate. "I've just come back from an Amsterdam Bar de Koe (the Cow), if you're interested and the drama at the Ajax-AZ match was THE topic of discussion. Ajax fans were OK with the AZ keeper's initial kick to ward of the idiotic fan. But the extra two kicks aimed at said fan, whilst he was lying on the floor, they looked pretty brutal. An unsportsmanlike behaviour red card was the only option, surely and the AZ coach looked a bit of a fool, calling his players off in such hammy fashion. Tsjongejonge best word in the world as the Dutch would say. " Quizzed for a better explanation of tsjongejonge, Nathan replies: "Difficult one. It's a bit like 'oh deary me'. It's exasperation, but not particularly harsh. E.G. "You're bloody late. Again! Tsjongejonge."

GOAL! Newcatle 2-2 WBA (Ba 81') The signing of the season hammers in a splendid shot from the edge of the box. That's 24 goals in 20 games for the Senegalese.

GOAL! QPR 2-2 Sunderland (Mackie 67') Warnock's men have come from two down, as Mackie heads in following slack defending by Wes Brown.

9.21pm: Arsenal's frustration mount at Villa Park as Van Persie is booked for diving in the box.

GOAL! Everton 1-0 Swansea (Osman 60') The midfielder nods home Drenthe's corner.

GO! AL! QPR 1-2 Sunderland (Helguson 63') Faurlin crosses, Helguson and Wes Brown meet it together, Westwood parries and Helguson converts the rebound.

9.17pm: Some clarification regarding the Luis Suarez appeal. He cannopt appeal against the verdict, only the severity of the punishment. More here.

9.15pm: Tomas Rocisky has come on for Frimpong has Arsenal seek to avoid a humiliating draw at Villa Park.

9.12pm: Mario Balotelli has come on for David Silva, which prompts Joshua Reynolds to venture: "While Yaya Tour is a big man, may I respectfully suggest that Stoke is perhaps not the best side to go spoiling for a fight with?" Don't pick on someone your own size, is what you're saying?

PENALTY SAVE! Al Habsi denies Charlie Adam after Liverpool are given a penalty for handball.

GOAL! QPR 0-2 Sunderland (Sessegnon 53') The Beninese international races from the half-way line, rounds Paddy Kenny and scores!

9.08pm: That nasty Al Habsi denies Luis Suarez a goal by saving his well-struck freekick. Expect righteous condemnation and mutterings about conspiracy from Merseyside.

9.05pm: Micah Richards has had to come off for City, He's been repolaced by Savic. Fantasy football folks may like to note that the change occured in the 59th minute so Richards won't get points for a clean sheet even though City are certain to keep on. Meanwhile, Yay Tour still seems to be in the feisty form he showed at Chelsea and is stomping around as if in search of a fight. Perhaps Mario Balotelli should come on to calm him down?

9.04pm: Newcastle try to get back into the game by replacing Obertan with Hatem Ben Arfa.

9.03pm: On the other hand, maybe it's not a meaningless milestone, reckons Pranjal Tiwari. "The 20,000th goal in the Premier League and it was scored! by an E nglishman. Take that, Johnny Foreigner!"

9.00pm: Want another, longer clip of bizarre and slightly obscene goings-on in Amsterdam? What a silly question. Here you go.

GOAL! Man City 3-0 Stoke (Aguero 56') Bah! Why couldn't he have got that before Albrighton? The Argentinian converts from close-range after a pull-back by Samir Nasri. City could hit double figures tonight such is their dominance.

8.57pm: Shane Long hits the bar as WBA threaten to go 3-1 up at St James'. Meanwhile at Villa Park, Mertesacker almost puts Arsenal back in front but Guzan produces a fine save after a corner.

GOAL! Villa 1-1 Arsenal (Albrighton 54')Agbonlahor flicks on a long punt from the back, Mertesacker hesitates and is robbed by Alberighton, who slides it under the keeper and into the net to claim the 20,000th Premier League goal!

8.54pm: For those interested: the next goal scored will be the 20,000th. My money - well, my fantasy league hope - is on Aguero.

8.52pm: Dark lining on the United's silver cloud: their defensive problems have been aggravated tonight as Phil Jones has had to go off injured. Ashley Young is now on. And there is no sign of Fulham exploiting this development.

8.50pm: So, the first half at Goodison Park went entirely to form. Still 0-0. Swansea, indeed, haven't even mustered a shot yet.

8.47pm: Why colleagues are good, Part 1. Ian McCourt has just sent me this video of the AZ keeper's clash with the aforementioend "wild guy". And Part 2: Richard Williams has just reminded me that Ryan Giggs has now scored in every Premier League season to date.

8.45pm: Here is an expected development: Luis Suarez's l! awyers h ave annaounced that he will appeal against his ban following the racist abuse saga you may have heard about.

GOAL! Fulham 0-3 Man United (Giggs 43') This has been a disgraceful performance so far by Fulham, who allow Giggs tu turn in a Nani cross from 12 yards.

8.40pm: Wacky hijinks in Holland, where the goalkeeper of league leaders AZ has just got sent off for kicking a fan who seemed to attack him during the match at Ajax ... and the whole AZ team has walked off in protest. Nick de Groot has more: "A wild guy entered the field in the Amsterdam Arena and tried to karate kick the AZ keeper Esteban. His attempt failed after which Esteban himself kicked the 'supporter' twice and got redcarded himself. AZ coach Gert-Jan Verbeek refused to play on under the circumstances and took his players off the field. At the moment it is unclear whether they will return to the field. Ah, the Ajax players have just returned to the field to send the message that the match is over."

8.39pm: "So Liverpool players are wearing Luis Suarez T-shirts tonight," notes Ian Burch. "I'm now looking forward to all the Premiership & Football league managers wearing Steve Kean T-shirts on Boxing Day."

GOAL! QPR 0-1 Sunderland (Bendnter 19') The Arsenal loanee heads in a Richardson corner. That happened quite a while ago but, um, I may have forgotten to mention it. Am quite surprised that they haven't scored a second yet, as O'Neill's side have been dominant.

8.35pm: "In the spirit of utilitarianism - the greatest good for the largest possible number of people - I have to second you in favouring Wigan for the drop," tubthumps Robin Hazelhurst. "As they don't have any actual fans then there will be only a small amount of misery spread around, compared to if a well-supported club like Wolves went down. And if their rugby league team do well again this season then the amount of happiness in the town will far ou! tweigh t he sadness. Just spreadin' the love..." By that reasoning, Robin will be supporting China at the next World Cup. Or would, if China had not lsot to Iraq last month and thereby failed to qualify for the tournament.

8.33pm: United denied a clear penalty at Fulham after Senderos brings down Welbeck.

GOAL! Newcastle 1-2 WBA (McAuley 44') Newcatle appear to be missing Steven Taylor, as Gareth McAuley comes up from the back to head in a Chrius Brunt freekick.

GOAL! Fulham 0-2 Man United (Nani 28') Three more goals and we'll have 20,000 in the Premier League. "What price Giggs to score the 20000th goal," wonders Philip Nevet. "Would be a fitting player seeing as he's played in about 20000 games."

GOAL! Newcastle 1-1 WBA (Ba 34') The man who Stoke didn't sign scores yet again, bashing a freekick past the keeper. My, how Newcastle are going to miss him when he goes to the Africa Cup of Nations - and probably wins it, as Senegal have an excellent team - better, I would say, than their class of 2002.

GOAL! Man City 2-0 Stoke (Johnson 36') The man who is statistically the most accurate shooter in the Premier League so far this season extends City's lead with a blast from distance.

8.25pm: After Al Habsi punches a corner to the edge of the area, Agger miscues a volley, shanking it over.

8.22pm: Superb long-range shot by Diam flies into the side-netting. Wigan are performing well here ... so well, in fact, that, along with their recent upsurge of form, I'm starting to think about revising my predeiction of them going down. Particularly with Aston Villa and Wolves going so badly. For the moment, though, I'm sticking with Bolton, QPR and Wigan to sink.

8.19pm: Aguero's goal came after he followed by a shot by VIncent Kompany that was parried by Sorenson. Meanwhile in Italy, City's Champions League conquerors, Napoli, have scored three early goals to go ! 3-0 up a gainst Genoa after 25 minutes.

GOAL! Man City 1-0 Stoke (Aguero 30') Infiltration complete!

8.13pm: "ESPN are showing Man City as having 86% possession against Stoke!" gulps John Wedge."Is this a record?" Can't answer that of the top of my head, John, but I do know that Stoke average less possession than any other team in the league this season (and last season, and the season before it). Getting the ball against them is the easy part: infiltrating their defence the hard part.

8.11pm: Chaos in the Liverpool box as they fail to deal with a clipped corss into the box. Johnson did well to block Sammon's shot and then Reina pulled off a fine close-range save from Jordi Gomes, who was seeking to score his fifth goal in six games, which would be a very impressive yield for a Wigan player.

8.09pm: Liverpool have started well at Wigan but, as so often this season, they's truggling to convert their good play into goals. They're going to properly tonk someone soon but it may not be Wigan, as Henderson shoots straight Al Habsi after a fine build-up.

GOAL! Newcastle 0-1 WBA (Odemwingie 20') A slinky left-foot curler from the edge of the area.

GOAL! Good thing I didn't get round to publishing the many emails I received predicting a Man United defeat at Craven Cottage. Danny Welbeck has just put them one up from a Nani cross. Fulham 0-1 Man Utd (Welbeck 5')

8.04pm: Suarez has become quite the soap opera: Liverpool fans are serenading him with that familiar Depeche Mode-inspired ditty while Wigan's fan is booing the Uruguayan's every touch.

8.02pm: A close shave for Stoke at City as Adam Johnson curls a shot against the crossbar.

8.01pm: PENALTY AND GOAL! Walcott taken down by Clarke. Van Persie slams it past Guzan. Villa 0-1 Arsenal (Vane Persie 16')

8.00pm: Golly! Tow ! goals in the last two minutes mean the Lille-Nice match ended 4-4. Ajaccio and Evian both held on for wins.

7.57pm: Even Kenny Dalglish is wearing the Suarez Solidarity t-shirt. Here's proof, courtesy of Rob Smyth. Speaking of the boy Smyth, he and the girl Turner have penned a book that could make you or one of your friends very happy this Christmas. You know you want Jumpers for Goalposts.

7.56pm: Charles N'Zogbia has been a disappointment since his 9.5m move from Wigan to Villa in the summer but tonight, Arsenal's decision to deploy Coquelin at right-back may be just what the winger needs to kickstart his career at his new club: he's causing plenty of trouble down the left flank so far.

7.53pm: A surprisingly vibrant start by Villa, with an Agbonlahor header forcing a fine save from Szczesny.

7.52pm: Woe at St James' Park, where poor old Stephen Reid has suffered yet another injury, seemingly to ankle ligaments, and has to be replaced. But from at least something positive came from it, as, after the Irishman crumpled in pain off the ball, Jonas Gutierrez turned down a scoring opportunity and instead kick the ball out of play so that Reid could get treatment.

7.49pm: Further good news for France's basement-dwellers (and I don't mean winos): rock-bottom Ajaccio are on course for their first away win of the season, leading 2-0 at Sochaux.

7.47pm: In case you're interested, there is also action in the French and Italian league tonight - and a shock in the making, to boot, with Ligue 1 leaders in hot water at Evian, where they're losing 4-2 with only about 10 minutes to go. Also, second-bottom Valenciennes are beating Lyon 1-0 and Lille and Nice are locked in a thrilling-sounding 3-3.

7.45pm: We have kick-off at Vill! a, Man C ity and Newcastle. All the other matches get going at 8pm. "I'm impressed by the utter certainty of those defending Suarez (t-shirts, really?) and those condemning him even though the FA have not released their findings," snorts Niall Mullne. "Did I say impressed? I meant utterly depressed. I'm always getting those things mixed up."

7.38pm: Factoid: An unlikely Stoke win at Manchester City tonight will give the club three consecutive away victories in the top flight for the first time since 1975. THey finished fifth that year, four places behind champions Derby County. And guess who got relegated this year? Carlisle United (yes, they really were in the top flight). As for City, they've won all of their home games so far this season and are seeking to beat the record they set in 1921, when they won 19 of their 21 home leagtue matches and drew the other two ... but still only finished second in the table. Behind Burnley.

Selections, selections ...

Wigan: Al Habsi, Caldwell, Alcaraz, Figueroa, Stam, Jones,
Diame, McCarthy, Moses, Gomez, Sammon.
Subs: Pollitt, Crusat, Watson, Di Santo, McArthur, Rodallega, Lopez.

Liverpool: Reina, Johnson, Skrtel, Agger, Jose Enrique,
Henderson, Adam, Downing, Kuyt, Maxi, Suarez. Subs: Doni, Carroll, Coates, Carragher, Shelvey, Kelly, Bellamy.
Referee: Michael Oliver (Northumberland)

Fulham: Stockdale, Baird, Senderos, Hangeland, John Arne Riise, Ruiz, Murphy, Etuhu, Dempsey, Dembele, Johnson.
Subs: Etheridge, Kelly, Gecov, Duff, Hughes, Frei, Zamora.

Man Utd: Lindegaard, Smalling, Jones, Evans, Evra, Valencia,
Carrick, Giggs, Nani, Rooney, Welbeck.
Subs: De Gea, Berbatov, Park, Hernandez, Young, Rafael Da Silva, Fryers.
Referee: Mark Halsey (Lancashire)

More teams:
Man City: Hart , Richards, Kompany, Lescott, Clichy, Barry,
Toure Yaya, Johnson, Silva, Nasri, Aguero.
Subs: Pantilimon, Zabaleta, Milner, Savic, Toure, De Jong, Balotelli.
Stoke: Sorensen, Huth, Woodgate, Upson, Wilson, Walters,
Palacios, Whitehead, Shotton, Jones, Jerome.
Subs: Begovic, Fuller, Diao, Pennant, Delap, Etherington, Arismendi.
Referee: Mike Dean (Wirral)

QPR: Kenny, Young, Gabbidon, Connolly, Traore, Barton, Faurlin, Derry, Wright-Phillips, Mackie, Helguson. Subs: Cerny, Hill, Hall, Taarabt, Campbell, Bothroyd, Smith.

Sunderland: Westwood, O'Shea, Bramble, Brown, Bardsley, Larsson, Cattermole, Vaughan, Richardson, Sessegnon, Bendtner.
Subs: Carson, Gardner, Kilgallon, Colback, Ji, McClean,
Elmohamady.
Referee: Andre Marriner (W Midlands)

Liverpool campaign update: Liverpool's players are warming up at the DW Stadium in special Luis Suarez solidarity t-shirts (haven't seen them myself but am told they feature a photo of the Uruguayan they insist did not racially abuse anyone, accompanied by his name and number. Questions this raises include: have they concocted some pointed celebration to perform in the event of Suarez scoring? Have they left it too late to market these t-shirts for Chrsitmas?)

Look at these line-ups:

Everton: Howard, Hibbert, Jagielka, Heitinga, Baines, Coleman, Fellaini, Neville, Drenthe, Osman, Saha.
Subs: Mucha, Stracqualursi, McFadden, Distin, Cahill, Gueye, Barkley.
Swansea: Vorm, Richards, Williams, Caulker, Taylor, Routledge, Gower, Britton, Allen, Sinclair, Graham.
Subs: Tremmel, Dobbie, Monk, Lita, Moore, Rangel, Agustien.
Referee: Kevin Friend (Leicestershire)

Newcastle: Krul, Simpson, Perch, Coloccini, Santon, Ober! tan, Vuc kic, Tiote, Gutierrez, Best, Ba.
Subs: Elliot, Williamson, Ben Arfa, Abeid, Ryan Taylor, Shola Ameobi, Sammy Ameobi.
West Brom: Foster, Reid, McAuley, Olsson, Shorey, Thomas, Mulumbu, Scharner, Brunt, Odemwingie, Long.
Subs: Fulop, Dorrans, Dawson, Jones, Thorne, Cox, Fortune.
Referee: Anthony Taylor (Cheshire)

Aston Villa: Guzan, Hutton, Dunne, Cuellar, Warnock,
Albrighton, Ireland, Clark, Petrov, N'Zogbia, Agbonlahor.
Subs: Marshall, Collins, Delfouneso, Delph, Bannan, Weimann, Williams.
Arsenal: Szczesny, Coquelin, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Vermaelen, Walcott, Ramsey, Frimpong, Arteta, Gervinho, van Persie. Subs: Almunia, Rosicky, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Squillaci, Arshavin, Chamakh, Benayoun.
Referee: Jon Moss (W Yorkshire)

Preamble:
There could be leapfroggery at the top of the Premier League tonight, although that would require Stoke pulling off an improbable victory at Manchester City and Manchester United eking out a win at Fulham, which is not quite so improbable but not a formality, either: there a handy side, the Cottagers, and certainly have the arsenal to expose United's defensive frailties, though possibly not the fortitude to shut the champions out. There's goals in that there game. Unlike at Goodison Park, where Everton 0-0 Swansea City has to be the nap of the season.

Elsewhere, what possibility festive cheer at what may well be the glummest ground in the country, Villa Park? The atmosphere at Blackburn may be poisonous these days but at least there's some passion Villa Park, meanwhile, reeks of mere mould, a seemingly moribund team failing to inspire even contempt. Awful to watch, but surely a pleasure to play against, as Arsenal should show tonight, even a slightly makeshift side (Coquelin at right-back, anyone?). Meanwhile, will Wigan continue their mini-revival by making! Luis Su arez's week even worse? Or will the Uruguayan finally find the finishing skills to match his otherwise superb play?
And if there is to be a touchline clash anywhere toinight, please let it be at Loftus Road, with Neil Warnock pitted against Martin O'Neill, with Joey Barton and Lee Cattermole chipping in.

We'll have extensive team news shortly. In the meantime, observe our stats centre.


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