Chelsea v Arsenal | Scott Murray

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Arsenal: Szczesny, Djourou, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Santos, Ramsey, Song, Arteta, Walcott, Van Persie, Gervinho.
Subs: Fabianski, Jenkinson, Vermaelen, Frimprong, Park, Rosicky, Arshavin.

Chelsea: Cech, Bosingwa, Ivanovic , Terry, Cole, Ramires, Mikel, Lampard, Sturridge, Torres, Mata
Subs: TOPICAL SATIRE ALERT!!! Blackman, Bertrand, Luiz, Romeu, Meireles, Malouda, Lukaku.

The acceptable sound of London:


Technically about the King's Road (pronounced "King's Raaahd") but it does mention Piccadilly, so it'll do. Written by Jim Dale from the Carry On movies, incidentally.

Team news: John Terry, from off of TV's The News, returns to the Chelsea side, along with Fernando Torres, who has been missing for the last three league games due to suspension. The spectacularly useless David Luiz is on the bench. Arsenal captain Robin van Persie is back, after starting last week's win over Stoke on the bench.

Kick off: 12.45pm.

Having said all that: It'd be quite funny if this ends up eight men apiece after a massive brawl, a cartoon cloud with boots and fists sticking out of it. Newsrooms would be sent into a flat spin. Twitter would snap in two. The bottom half of the internet would catch fire. The world would keep turning.

The unacceptable face of London: This fiasco. It'd be nice to think, for so many reasons, that this weekend! 's big s howdown in the capital will pass off without any grim incident. Play the game nicely, gentlemen.

The acceptable face of London: The Bakerloo Line, 11am, this morning. A middle-aged couple get on at Waterloo. Both are smiling. Shall we get off at Piccadilly Circus, he says, and walk up Regent Street, or alight at Oxford Circus, and walk down the other way? She's not sure. He knows a place they can eat down the Piccadilly Circus end, so it depends whether she's peckish now or not. Maybe she'll just have a cup of coffee for the minute. She kind of wants to get on with looking for a hat for some wedding or other. He's after a pair of trousers. (Casual slacks, presumably he's already kitted out for the big day, unless he's not invited.) Anyway, they're both smiling, out and about in the city for the day. They're excited and happy. London: a force for good.


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